Pikes Peak Marathon

August 22, 2010

Today hundreds of morons gathered in Manitou Springs, Colorado for the 55th annual Pikes Peak Marathon. Each year this event attracts morons from dozens of states and foreign countries. The Pikes Peak Marathon consists of a half-marathon climb to the top of Pikes Peak over rough, uneven, rocky, and root-filled terrain before reaching the summit at over 14,000 feet. Once each runner reaches this point, he or she turns around and begins running down the same exact path for an additional 13+ miles.

According to one runner from Wisconsin "this is by far the stupidest thing I've ever done." He then continued to explain that although running for near ten hours seems unintelligent, the fact that he finished the day only about ¼ of a mile from where he began was ever more perplexing, "at the end of the day I realized I had spent a lot of money and hundreds of hours training to move myself a mere quarter of a mile… I'm beginning to think this doesn't make sense." Continue...

My Calling in Life

August 10, 2010

The interest in the weather is universal, in fact it's one of the first topics taught when learning any foreign language. It doesn't take much time abroad to realize the entire world is weather-obsessed, which is exactly why I've recently decided to become a television weatherman. It's the only occupation in which I'm always right, I don't need any particular knowledge, I can work from anywhere, and I have complete power over the lives of my viewers. Continue...

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Cyclist vs. Squirrel

It seems a team of people traveled throughout the world seeking out every bad bicyclist. Continue...