Auschwitz, Poland Travelogue

Auschwitz

Oświęcim

Auschwitz - Birkenau

December 5, 2004

Yesterday we went to Auschwitz bright and early; it was rather painful to wake that early, a pain that quickly disappeared when things were soon put into perspective. We arrived there around 9:00 and came in through the back or Birkenau (Auschwitz is essentially two camps in one, Auschwitz and Birkenau).

We began at the burial site of the 20,000 POW (prisoners of war) Soviet soldiers who were shot here, then walked around to Bunker #2 and into the tight security of the camp itself. Nearby were crematoriums 4 and 5 plus Canada II. The Nazis tried to bomb the crematoriums before leaving, but the base and ruins still remains.

We moved on to crematoriums 2 and 3. The facts and figures are too numerous to write, but I can say that it was quite surreal and almost unreal. My mind tried to comprehend the figures and my logical side wanted to believe this wasn’t possible... the complex is huge, but huge enough to destroy 1.1 million lives?

On paper, facts are easy to read, to believe, but easier to not even consider the enormity of, rather only accepting them without thought of how huge something was. To see the complex you don't want to believe the crimes, as the numbers and figures truly sink in and comparisons of how large that is comes to the surface. 1.1 million people, that's the same as destroying a large city, every last person, but this was selected murder and more difficult to achieve than simply dropping a bomb.

It doesn't take long before you realize that no matter how much you'd like to say this didn't happen, no matter how much you want to believe it's a story or a horror movie, your logical side gets beyond the denial which would make your life easier and reality sets in. Denial is your mind's way to run from a horrible reality, because facing this fact makes you think more than you'd like, it makes you question people, question yourself, question your beliefs, question your life, your values, your morals, your ability to fight for what's right. It makes you ask if you're capable to commit such an atrocity, or perhaps more accurately strong enough to not partake in it if your life was threatened.

The holocaust did happened, but your mind doesn't want to believe it; it still seems so unreal... or surreal here. It was as if I was void of any and all emotions to protect myself; when I did show some it was more humorous than serious although the reality was right in front of me. It was like my mind allowed me to stay by using a coping mechanism.

We moved to Auschwitz and saw the exhibitions in the old barracks. These seemed to take away and give so much at the same time. This gave the site a personal touch and brought those lives that were lost back, but then it was done in the old complexes and so the buildings seemed more like a college campus than a concentration camp. It was if I was seeing it all however it didn’t take place there, but somewhere entirely different, like a museum with treasures from far-off places.

The reality came crashing home when I saw the room with the shoes… there were wooden shoes and this made me think of a Dutch farmer, forcing me to realize how far and to what extend this actually went. The hair and the room in Canada II with the pictures also helped show the reality of the situation, however I still seemed to be so far removed, perhaps that’s my mind trying to protect me, perhaps that's what time has taken, or perhaps time granted us a gift to ease the tragedies of the past, I’m not quite sure.

Facts and figures are the "what" behind Auschwitz-Birkenau, racism the "why," however being here makes you question the "how"? How can people do this to their fellow man? We are first human, and only second Jews, Christians, Muslims, etc.

Describing this complex is not to describe a place, but rather an emotion, which can't be expressed. For each person that emotion is different; everyone says that it moves you and the reality comes crashing down, but I left with an attitude I didn’t expect to ever get, one of part anger, part frustration, part denial, and part reality.

As we were driving away I kept telling myself that the holocaust is such crap: the reasons, the ability to find so many assassins, the methods, and even the people today. The holocaust was probably the worst act performed by mankind, the people must have been numb of all feelings; the man in charge of this camp actually went home to his five children every night and during the days went to be a mass murderer committing genocide in unbelievable proportions. The lack of feelings and emotions of them are perhaps what I felt when I was there, almost removed from my body and unattached to everything and anything.

The method of murder was terrible, not necessarily the method, but the fact that “doctors” did experiments to find which method worked the best in order to finish their genocide goals.

What greatly upsets me about the holocaust is the way people today treat it. It is perhaps the most emotionally attached event in history and those that are so attached typically didn’t live through it, but often times know someone who has. Many Jews it seems want the holocaust for themselves. However many died because they had a "Jewish nose," or were an educated Pole, or Roma (gypsies), or gay, or Soviet. There are so many people and so many random people who got lost in the confusion.

People forget so much and most have never learned the story, they only know the movies and hence most people there are uneducated and naive about this place and the events that took place here. The holocaust will never get any better over time and the emotions are too tightly entwined with life to argue with. There were too many victims, but people forget that just one would have been too many victims.

This, I believe should not be viewed in history as an act against any particular group, but rather as an act human took against his fellow humankind. We take so much time and effort making ourselves different and taking pride in what we believe we are: American, Catholic, white, and middle class in my case. We take so much time and pride in these things that we forget before that we are all just human and if we make that identifier as our priority then we must unite as one; our differences are only secondary. With this approach the holocaust is not an act of Christian against Jew or Nazi against Jew, but rather an act of human against human, for before all else we are nothing more or less than that, human.

I learned more yesterday at Auschwitz than I have all semester in my Auschwitz class, at which I've learned a great deal. Education is more present in the real world than in a book or out of the mouth of a professor and to know Auschwitz you must go. To understand Auschwitz is an impossibility.